Society Challenged, No Change
by crabbeapple
Summary: This story has been modified from it's original version. Harry hates all Slytherins. All Slytherins hate her. If the Slytherins knew her secret, would they accept her? Does she want them to accept her? Everything comes at a price, she knows this all to we
1. The Best Day of My Overly Pathetic Life

**Prologue/Background Information.**

_I disclaim _  
  
Hi, my name is Blaise Reanna Zabini, and this is my story. I go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. (I'm in Slytherin House.) I am writing this because the counsellor that works for the Foster Home said that I should make a diary of sorts, so this is my twisted attempt at a diary.  
  
First you- and no one is actually going to read this, so I don't know who I'm actually talking to- should know a little more about me. There's really not much to say. My parents are dead (to me,) I live in this bloody "Foster Home" (which is really more like an 'Auberge de Jeunesse') for two months of the year. For the rest of the year, I'm at boarding school.  
  
I'm not ugly, no one's ever accused me of that, but I've never been called pretty before. My eyes are brown, like my hair- which is quite long, and kind of just sits there. I wouldn't say I was short, but I'm not tall either. I have a slight figure, I may even be a bit underweight but I have never been a really big eater.) My boobs are nothing special- nothing a guy would drool over.  
  
I like sleeping, it's my favourite thing to do. When I sleep, I dream, and when I dream I can escape from the world. When I'm asleep I am accepted for what I am. To bad I'm not good at it. I also enjoy singing. When I sing I can fake my emotions.  
  
I don't really have any friends to talk about, and I'll let you devise your own opinions about my enemies. I do have a hero though, he's the reason my parents are... gone. I guess I'm not being very original, Harry Potter is every ones hero. But he's my hero for entirely different reasons.  
  
I hate conformity, I don't want to be normal. But being normal is something I wish I could be, fitting in is something I wish I could do.  
  
Well, that was all I had to say about me. The past is not something I like to think about, but hey, neither is the future. I guess this is the end of my first entry. Good day.

_A/N: And 'Auberge de Jeunesse' is a Youth Hostel en Français_  
  
**Chapter 1: The Best Day of My Overly Pathetic Life**  
  
_(A/N- Blaise writes her diary in the third person. A little weird- I know- but that's what she is.)  
  
I disclaim: I don't own any of these characters, and I don't own the setting either. I believe that you know that it all belongs to J.K Rowling... so I'll just stop babbling and get on with the show.  
  
_ Blaise Zabini walked past the stores in Diagon Alley. She knew that she should really hurry up and buy her things, but she didn't want to go back to the Foster home.  
  
All she really had left to buy were her books, but to buy them she should have been headed in the other direction.  
  
Skulking along at a slow pace Blaise prayed that she wouldn't run into anyone she knew. The only people she knew were people she didn't like, and the only people she knew that would be in Diagon Alley were Slytherins.  
  
Sure, she was a Slytherin herself, but she still hated and despised them. It's not like they liked her either, Blaise had actually tried making friends with those in her year. They had rejected her, she was as good as a 'mudblood' to them, having grown up in a the muggle world.  
  
Blaise really regretted being sorted into Slytherin. On top of all her house mates hating her, all the other houses hated her because she was a Slytherin.  
  
It wasn't like she didn't belong in Slytherin. Blaise was a grade A schemer, it's just that she never really had that courage (or the heart) to put one of her plans into action. She didn't really fit the Slytherin stereo type of being mean and malevolent. That was one of the reasons her housemates didn't like her, but the fact was lost on all the other houses, who took one look at the Slytherin badge on her robes and put her into that category.  
  
It's not like Blaise was at all shocked or devastated by being shunned. Her whole life ever since the people that she called 'mum' and 'dad' had died had prepared her for the disappointment of rejection. No one ever paid attention to her, ever.  
  
Ok, maybe some people had paid attention to her. "Hey Zabini, you're a disgrace to all us Slytherins." "Hey mudblood, why don't you just kill yourself and save us the trouble." These remarks didn't hurt her at all though. Ok, maybe a little. Rather- a lot. But hey, who said life was going to be easy? Certainly not Blaise.  
  
Lost in her thoughts, Blaise wasn't really paying attention to anything around her, so predictably, she ran into something... or someone. Luckily neither of their paces were fast enough to knock the other over, or knock the purchases out of the hands of their new owners hands.  
  
"Oh sorry." Came the other party's reply. "Me too." Blaise replied and was prepared to continue on her 'merry' way, but when she saw who it was that she bumped into, she was compelled to stay.  
  
Her very own (and almost everyone else's) hero stood there. '_Think of something witty to say, something that will blow him off his feet.'_ "Hi." _'Oh yeah,'_ she thought. _'Real Intelligent.'  
_  
"Er, do I know you?" Harry Potter asked her.  
  
"Not technically, but figuratively." Blaise said.  
  
"Er, What?"  
  
"We go to the same school."  
  
"Oh I see, I thought you may have, kind of, looked a little familiar." He said, shuffling his feet. "So, I um... I'm done all my shopping, and my uncle isn't picking me up for awhile. Do you want to walk around for a while? Maybe get a drink at the Leaky Cauldron?" He smiled shyly at her, as if he'd never asked that kind of thing before.  
  
_'Did he really just ask me to get a drink with him?'_ Blaise thought in wonder. One look at his shy smile reassured her, and she smiled happily. "Actually, that sounds excellent. I've been looking for a way to blow some time. I really don't want to go back to where I'm going."  
  
"Neither do I, believe me." They started walking in the direction Blaise had been headed earlier, when she bumped into him. "If I was allowed to go anywhere else, I would. But Professor Dumbledor seems to think that it's safer with my Aunt, Uncle, and cousin."  
  
"If I had anywhere else to go, I would. Has your summer really been as bad as mine?" Blaise asked him.  
  
"Probably worse. I'm always afraid that I'm going to lose my temper and hex my cousin Dudley, I've almost done twice... This week!"  
  
They both laughed to this, Blaise picturing his cousin as one of her roommates at school named Pansy Parkinson. Still laughing they walked into the Leaky Cauldron, sat at a table, and ordered their drinks.  
  
"Tell me about this cousin of yours." Blaise said, wanting to steer the conversation as far away from her as possible.  
  
"Well, Dudley is moderately... no... really, really fat. He eats everything he can get his grubby little hands on. He really hates me, and loves to torment me. When we were little, and going to school together, he would always get his little gang to beat me up.  
  
"Uncle Vernon is like an older version of Dudley, but not quite as fat. He hates everything to do with magic, and locks me in a cupboard every time I even mention any thing to do with magic, Hogwarts, or even my parents.  
  
"Aunt Petunia isn't fat like the rest of them, but she has a really long, ugly neck. She's a nasty gossip, and always spy on the neighbours.  
  
"They all hate me, and do any thing they can to make my life miserable. When I'm there I do all their house work, and cooking. They usually just ignore me, and I'm more than happy to ignore them."  
  
"Wow" Blaise exclaimed when he was done. "They sound horrid. Your aunt reminds me of one of my roommates. She's a vicious gossip to, and I try to avoid her as best as I can too."  
  
Harry and Blaise talked and talked until Blaise finally said that she should be going to buy her books. "I'll join you." Harry said, so they walked all the way to the book store talking about Quidditch. Blaise quickly found her books, and brought them to the counter.  
  
"Hey!" Harry exclaimed. "I had to get all the same books... almost" He was looking at her Ancient Runes, and Arithmancy books.  
  
"Well, we are in the same year, Harry."  
  
"No wonder I recognized you a little."  
  
"We also have potions together."  
  
"Potions?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"You're a Slytherin! What... how could you not have told me? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!"  
  
"I didn't think that it mattered."  
  
"You didn't think that I mattered? You're a bloody Slytherin for Christ's sake!"  
  
"I still don't think it matters. Sure, most Slytherins are corrupt and obscene, but..."  
  
"All Slytherins are 'corrupt and obscene!' I... I'm out of here!" So Harry left, and Blaise stayed, feeling depressed and dejected. But it had still been the best day of her overly pathetic life.


	2. What Might Have Been

**Chapter 2: What Might Have Been**  
  
_I Disclaim! I do not own anything from J.K Rowling, or Marion Zimmer Bradley. (Who are my favourite authors of all time.)  
_  
Blaise did have a friend. A friend she could say anything to. A friend that was always there for here. Her friend would never talk back to her, because, quite frankly- her friend couldn't talk.  
  
Desi was Blaise's black cat. When Blaise had received her Hogwarts letter, and found she could bring either a cat, a toad, or an owl, the toad and owl options had been quickly ruled out. Where would she find an owl? And Toads were really disgusting.  
  
So she went to the local animal shelter, and picked up Desi. The cat had been an orphan too, and the colour black seemed an appropriate colour for the cat of a witch.  
  
Desi was just a kitten when Blaise 'saved' her. She had been incredibly playful, but had matured over the years that Marlee had her. . . somewhat.  
  
Now, four years later, Blaise put Desi into her carrier cage for their 5th trip to Hogwarts.  
  
Desi was the last thing that Blaise packed, seeing as she had most of her things packed for over 2 weeks. She was almost as excited to go to Hogwarts as she had been the first time. Harry would be at Hogwarts, and she would make him see that she was no ordinary Slytherin.  
  
She had thought of that day in Diagon Ally a lot since it happened. She daydreamed about the finer points of the day, and rewrote the ending many times.  
  
_"Potions? Care of Magical Creatures?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"You're a Slytherin! Wow, I've never met a Slytherin as friendly as you before."  
  
"Yeah well, some Slytherins aren't as bad as you think. We're just shy, It's the other Slytherins that give us a bad name."  
  
"Bloody gits!"  
  
"Yeah, I hate them too."  
  
"My uncle will be here soon, so I better go, but I'll see you at school. I'm sure that we'll be the great friends. And you are in no way corrupt or obscene."  
  
"Thanks Harry! I'll see you September 1st"  
  
"I'll save you a seat in the express"   
_  
That never happened, but Harry will become her friend. They will be great friends. He was so nice to her, and they had a lot of fun talking. Sure Harry's rejection hurt a lot, especially because he had been so nice to her before, but he would apologise to her.

* * *

Carrying Desi's cage, and pulling her trunk behind her, Blaise made her way to the taxi that would take her to King's Cross Station.  
  
"May I sit here?" Blaise asked the girl she new to be Harry's friend Hermione.  
  
"Yeah sure. This is Ron by the way, I'm Hermione." Hermione replied. Ron gave a little grunt of assent, so Marlee sat down next to Hermione.  
  
"My name's Blaise, it's nice to meet you." And with that Blaise took out her book and began reading.  
  
"The Mists of Avalon?" Hermione asked. "That's, like, one of the only muggle books that actually has true witchcraft in it. Marion Zimmer Bradley wasn't a witch, but she married a wizard historian. She became fascinated with the Druids, and how 'Merlin' wasn't actually just one guy, but the name for really revered Druids throughout the Medieval Times. So she wrote books about them, and got them published by Muggles."  
  
"Really? I didn't know that. I got the book out of the library because I love reading muggle depictions of the wizarding world, but everything seemed pretty accurate."  
  
"You actually know something about the Druids?" Hermione asked, amazed.  
  
"Yeah, Professor Binns said some stuff about them in History of Magic, so I looked them up in the library. It was actually quite interesting."  
  
"Oh. Are you in Ravenclaw?"  
  
"No, she's a Slytherin." Came a voice from the doorway. Both girls, and Ron turned to see Harry standing there. "She doesn't like people knowing, so she keeps it a secret."  
  
"I was just about to tell Hermione myself, thank-you. And I told you when you asked, don't be so cynical." Blaise replied.  
  
"Cynical? This coming from a Slytherin? Who are you to judge." Harry asked her.  
  
"I'm a human being, I'll have you know, and that came before me being a Slytherin. I have as much right as you to judge, but my judgement isn't biased like yours."  
  
"Now you're accusing me of being biased to?"  
  
"Wow, you're smart. It's a wonder you weren't put in Ravenclaw." Blaise muttered sarcastically.  
  
"Well, it would have been a wonder if you were!"  
  
"Both of you stop it!" Hermione yelled. "Grow-up, you're giving me a headache. Now maybe you should leave Blaise."  
  
"Leave? You said I could sit here." Blaise said dejectedly, feeling anger rise up within her. "Ok, if you want to be that way, I'll go see if I can find an empty compartment. And I take it back Harry, I know why you weren't sorted into Ravenclaw, but by your standards. . . I have know clue why you weren't sorted into Slytherin. Good-day."  
  
"Why don't you just go conspire with all your little Slytherin friends? Tell them how you made a 'fool' out of 3 'pathetic, little' Gryffindors." Ron interjected.  
  
"You wouldn't understand." Blaise said so quietly that it was almost a whisper. "None of you would."  
  
And she left, quietly closing the door behind her. She never did find that empty compartment. But sat with a couple of first year Muggle borns, who didn't know what Slytherin was, or what she was to the Slytherins.  
  
She day dreamed about what might have happened if she had been put in Gryffindor, or any other house for that matter. Blaise knew that she shouldn't, but she couldn't help dabbling in what might have been. 


	3. The Way Things Are

**Chapter 3: The Way Things Are  
**  
_I Disclaim! Song- Another Lonely Day by Kasey Chambers._  
  
'I just love this place!' Blaise thought sarcastically, stepping into her all to familiar dorm room. The stone room looked formidable. The green bed coverings the only ounce of colour in the dreary room.  
  
"Home Sweet Home." She said aloud to Desi as she let her out of the cage. Desi raced around the room, happy to be rid of her confinement.  
  
Blaise had skipped dinner- the opening feast- she wasn't hungry any ways. She took her usual bed- the one closest to the door, and started unpacking her things that the house elves had already put at the foot of her bed. She started singing.  
  
_"Yes indeed I'm, alone again. And here comes emptiness, crashing in. It's either love or hate, I can't find in between. 'Cuz I've been with witches, and I have been with the queen.  
  
"It wouldn't have worked, any way. So now it's just another lonely day, hey hey. Further along we just may. But for now it's just another lonely day, hey hey."  
_  
She stopped abruptly and turned to her cat. "Why am I always singing depressing songs?" . . . There was no answer.  
  
"You should be a shrink when you grow up Des. I'm going to bed." And so fully clothed, Blaise fell into bed, hoping that she would be able to fall asleep before Pansy, and Millicent came in.

* * *

  
To bad that didn't happen. About 3 hours later- Blaise was still lying awake in her bed- the girls came into the room, giggling loudly. "Did you see how fat Greg got over the summer? When I first saw him, I thought that he was Vincent." Millicent was saying.  
  
"Yeah, I'm glad that Draco didn't see the need to become over weight too. He probably knew that I would break up with him if he did." Pansy said with a sneer.  
  
"Zabini asleep?"  
  
"Yeah, I can't believe she was too scared to go to the feast. Probably knew that she wasn't wanted, dirty little mudblood. I wish she would just go back to her vile muggle guardians."  
  
"I know, she's just a horrid waist of space."  
  
"Ok, you're making me nauseous just talking about her. Say one more thing about her, and I'll stick Vincey on you."  
  
"All right, don't get your nickers in a bunch. I'm going to bed, I need to look good for Blake. I still can't believe that he is only a year older than us. He acts so much more mature than those goons we call classmates."  
  
Pansy giggled. "You can say that again. I'm just glad that Draco doesn't feel the need to act like a five year old."

* * *

'Yay, it's Potions! I just LOVE potions! OK, so maybe I hate potions. I'm so bad at it. I'm just glad that I'm a Slytherin, so Snape doesn't bug me that much. But he does seem to hate me, even though I AM in his precious house.  
  
'Snape's an overgrown leech. If he was a creature he would be a dementor. I just LOVE dementors. Sorry, there was that Sarcasm again.  
  
'So I'm sitting here, trying to make this stupid potion. A sleeping potion. Snapey's glaring at me. I just LOVE. . . ok, moving on. Sleeping Potion. Add beetle wings when potion turns brown. Opps, been there, haven't done that.  
  
'I wonder what will happen if I add the wings now that it's a yellowy colour. Hopefully it won't blow up. Snaple said this potion was relatively harmless, so I think I'll give it a try.'  
  
Blaise added the beetle wings cautiously. "Please don't blow up in my face! Please don't blow up in my face!" She muttered softly. Nothing happened.  
  
'So far so good.' She checked he book. "Add Eucalyptus root when potion turns green." Her potion was green. Quickly she dropped the Eucalyptus root into the potion.  
  
**_ BOOM_**  
  
"Oh shit!" Blaise exclaimed as her potion splashed all over her, and some Gryffindors since she had chosen to sit by them, and not her fellow house mates.  
  
Needless to say, the Gryffindors were NOT happy. And never was their dear professor. The Slytherins (other than Blaise) thought it was hilarious.  
  
In order to stay true to his house by not taking off house points, but still punishing Blaise, he gave her a detention. Her first detention. . . this year.  
  
'Woohoo, this is gonna be the best year ever, in the world times 2. . . divided by one million and seventy-three. I hate my life!'

* * *

'Finally, out of that hell hole!' Blaise thought as she settled down into her desk in the Transfiguration classroom.  
  
Transfiguration wasn't her favourite class, but it was better than potions since Professor McGonagall didn't seem to hate her. She wasn't particularly good at it, but it was by far her best class. She was no Hermione Granger, but she could hold her own for once, and for that she was grateful.  
  
Today in Transfiguration, they were transfiguring string into seaweed. It was review from the year before, but Blaise was still the only one who managed to get it right on the first try. It took her awhile and lots of effort to perform simple tasks, once she got it, she had it for life.  
  
Since she was finished she decided to start on the potions essay that Snape had assigned earlier that morning.  
  
"_Why You Don't Add Ingredients When Your Potion is the Wrong Colour_. By Blaise Zabini."  
  
Working on her essay while her classmates struggled with their assignments, which had escaped their abilities over a summer of parties and prestige, made them resent her even more. Draco Malfoy, who finally managed to transfigure his string, turned abruptly and did the same to Blaise's hair.  
  
Working on her essay Blaise didn't pay much attention to the tingly feeling atop her head until Draco yelled. "Sorry Zabini, I thought your hair was the string."  
  
'That's weird. Why would Malfoy be apologizing for making fun of my hair?' Blaise thought. She reached a hand up to see if she had missed some of her sleeping potion. Instead she found her hair course and dry. It was green with an unpleasant odour.  
  
Jumping up, Blaise was just about to try to transfigure Malfoy into a snake, when Professor McGonagall started yelling at Malfoy. She paused for a second, only enough to send Blasie to the Hospital Wing.

* * *

Contrary to popular belief, the hospital wing was actually a very cheerful place. Well cheerful compared to the dungeons. It smelled better too.  
  
Even though the Hospital wing was cheery, it could not lift Blaise's spirits. Madame Pomfry was able to fix Blaise's hair in a jiffy, but it still smelled a little fishy.  
  
Her hair wasn't the reason that she was still in the hospital wing. No, even though Madame Pomfry was allowing her to leave, she didn't want to.  
  
Curled up into a ball on one of the sterilized beds, her view of the white walls of the infirmary was being blurred by her tears.  
  
Well, this was just another day in the life of Blaise Zabini's, just the way things are.  



End file.
